Just let it go.. (The Art of Letting go)

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way. They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt you. And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger you. It's inevitable.

Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person, you're headed for deeper problems. In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get.

You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away. And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you spend more and more time thinking about the slight of telling others about it.
Eventually, if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick.

So what should you do the next time someone betrays you? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Even though the other person may be at fault, even though the
other person wronged you, you are still responsible for your own feelings.

In other words, other people do not "cause" your feelings. You choose them.

For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at
the staff meeting were "stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting again. The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.

As long as you blame other people for your feelings, as long as you believe other people caused your feelings, you're stuck. You're a helpless victim.

But if you recognize the fact that you choose your feelings and you are responsible for your feelings, there's hope. You can take some time to think about your feelings. And you can decide
what the best thing to say or do is.

Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM DISAPPOINTMENT. It's difficult to
do, but it's possible. The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that.

Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great classics of all time. He had learned to walk away from his disappointment.

Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step up.

Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult, especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness or doesn't even seek it. It's difficult when the other person is clearly in the
wrong.

Part of the difficulty comes from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behaviour is alright. And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook. He's still responsible for his misbehaviour.

Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook. It's about releasing your negative emotions, attitudes, and behaviours. It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the future.

Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to disappoint you.
If you know how to respond to those situations, you'll be way ahead of most people. You'll be able to live above and beyond your circumstances.

Action:
Identify two people that have
disappointed, hurt, or angered you.
If possible, select two people towards
whom you still have some bitterness.

Then ask yourself, "How does my
bitterness serve me?

Am I happier holding on to it?

Do I sleep better?

Is my life richer, fuller, and better
because of my bitterness?"

If you find that your bitterness is
hurting you, make a decision.

Decide to let go! Period!